December 2009
41 posts
Going to a new gym is like entering the cafeteria...
You don’t know who anyone is, where anything is, or what the fuck you’re gonna do. It’s gonna be all different and more crowded and I’m going to revert to a state of pubescent awkwardness and end up leaving after 15 minutes.
1 tag
I am so done with people
like really done. I’m just going to sit here in my sparkle sweater and think about how done I am. And then I’ll fold laundry and maybe run some errands, all the while composing poems around the phrase “FUCK Y’ALL” in my head.
This too shall pass y'all.
I’m so sorry. The day of a trillion posts is over. Tomorrow I’ll be back at work, and Thursday my class will be over, so I’ll have less time and less of a burning, BURNING need to procrastinate.
I think my appetite is back from the land of...
For dinner tonight:
2 baked potatoes (lil ones) with sour cream and salsa
bowl of cocoa krispies AND cocoa pebbles, mixed together, with soy milk
about to eat a cheese sandwich
I’m probably going to pull some ambien shit and eat an entire container of margarine while unconscious in the middle of the night.
Single best IM I have ever gotten
katie: hey i gotta get ready for tabathas salon takeover
2 tags
Okay so here’s the deal. I’m stuck inside because I’m still home sick from work, and I can’t even relax because I have to study/do homework for my last stupid class on Thursday (and I don’t know why I care because I’m not continuing on with this path after the class is over). So to “incentivize” myself to get shit done, every time I finish one of the...
Watchthedailywhat:
This Is Funny, You Should Watch It If You’re Not At Work Or At Work But Wearing Headphones of the Day: All-around funny fuck Donald Glover (AKA Dong Lover) stars in the first truly funny Tiger Woods parody video.
Also: The first truly throw-up-in-my-mouth-a-little Tiger Woods parody video.
[via.]
I’m over the Tiger Woods business, but this is something magical and...
3 tags
Apparently I'm not funny
Brian: hows it going
me: aaaaaaaaaaaaggggggghhhhhhhh
me: how are you
Brian: im pretty good
me: that is good
me: i am incredibly frustrated with humanity
me: i kind of want to say fuck it, then harness the power of this frustration to propel myself to the moon, where i will disintegrate in the vacuum of space
me: or suffocate
me: or whatever would happen to me on the moon
Brian is offline. Messages you send will be delivered when Brian comes online.
2 tags
“I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and...”
– —Agent 3Z (via frangry)
This is a Jack Handey quote, is it not?
