Woman walking with her husband: Did you just roll out of bed?
Me (out loud): Oh, ha, did the pajama pants give it away?
Me (in my head): OF COURSE I DID. IT IS 7 O FUCKING CLOCK. DO YOU THINK YOU'RE BETTER THAN ME JUST BECAUSE YOU'RE DRESSED IN CARGO SHORTS AND A T-SHIRT INSTEAD OF PAJAMAS? YOU'RE NOT. JUST FYI. YOU'RE NOT.
